What are my realizations?
1. Things don’t usually go according to plan.
I think it’s buried deep into our mundanity to plan out our lives at a young age. Go to school, get good grades, graduate college, get a good job, live a great life, marry, have kids — it never stops! The planning continues as we grow old. But, does everything really go according to plan?
Not at all times. For some people maybe, it’s easy to follow the path laid out for them. With more than enough resources, support and great connections — there’s no smoother road.
However, some people have to struggle just to make sure they stay on the right path without messing up the timeline. I happen to fall in that category.
Reaching to this point where I am now wasn’t an easy journey. I took many detours, many U-turns. I even tried running in circles.
There were just so many traffic lights before I ended up here. But one thing I learned about all this is it’s better to plan than just let things be as it is. It may not be a perfectly executed plan, but somehow it’ll guide you to where you ought to end up.
Learn from the past.
Live the present.
Plan for the future.
2. You do have a say in things, just be ready to accept the consequences.
I think it’s in our 20s that we have this fuel and energy. We just want to go and have a race. Try everything out there. Experience and make mistakes. And go live life ‘cos duh, YOLO!
But should you really just go vroom vroom without stopping?
That depends on you. Only you can decide on what you want to do. No one’s stopping you. It’s all in your hands.
You have a say. You’re an adult now. Go and do what you want.
But always remember, we’re an entity of “cause and effect”. Our decisions will always have consequences.
It’s the time to be wise.
3. You’ll stumble a lot. Like, a lot.
Like, really. A lot.
And I think that’s the most important part. You stumble and you fall, and you rise back up. Then you stumble and fall again, and you get back up once more. It’s a cycle. And it’s gonna be like that for quite some time, or for the rest of your life.
As we course through our existence, we learn from our experiences. The things or circumstances that made us fall, the efforts we did to get back up — those are the essentials to a wholesome learning.
I’ve fallen quite a lot already, failed plenty of times, disappointed a lot of people — but here I am, still kicking and living in the best way possible.
Without the fall, I wouldn’t have become resilient. Without the stumbles, I wouldn’t have become stable.
And that’s the beauty of failures. They smack you real hard, but once you bounce back, you smack them harder.
It’s all about having the right mindset.
4. The pressure gets real.
Yes. It does.
Some are getting cars, houses, villas and the like. Some are getting married. Some are having children. Some are having businesses.
And you. What are you doing?
Sometimes being surrounded with lots of successful people gives you unsurmountable pressure. ‘Cause why not? They seem to have been living the best of their lives and here you are, experiencing back pains at the age of 23.
And with social media, all you see when you scroll through that timeline is people flexing what they’ve got.
But should you really be worried?
Yes and no.
Yes, as you should not take life easily and squander your youth doing nothing that your future self will thank you for. Invest your time and efforts in something. Go the extra mile if you can. Live the moment, but don’t exhaust yourself. Your body’s your wonderland — scratch that — capital.
And no, as you shouldn’t compare your behind-the-scenes to anybody’s highlights. People are flexing what they have, but you don’t know what they did to get that right to flex. But don’t worry, you’ll get there too.
5. It gets scary but exciting.
Ugh! It’s definitely terrifying. Living on your own. Spending the money you’ve worked hard for. Paying the bills. Buying food with your own money. All these are in your plate. Are you sure you’re ready?
‘Cause I’m not. I wasn’t. And I don’t think anyone really is ready. Adulting— it’s technically a surprise.
But that’s the beauty of it. It’s horrifying to handle all this on your own. Growing up is no joke. But while you fear of not being able to do it, not being able to handle it all — it still excites you!
Because living itself is such an exhilarating thing. Life is full of adventures. And to face these challenges and obstacles on your own is one scary yet thrilling rollercoaster ride that’ll give you emotional constipation. And fruit salad feelings.
6. The right path — am I on it?
As I got to experience the real word and face it head on, I asked myself, “Am I on the right path? Is my job enough? Do I really love what I’m doing right now? Can I still shift careers? Did I really want accounting?”
More often than not, we question our current status. The passion we have inside drives us to think and overthink. Are we where we are supposed to be? Have we reached our desired destination? Could we do something more?
Our families and friends can only offer pieces of advice on where we really want to end up and how to get there. In the end, it is us who go out and make our own decisions.
The desire to be independent is what’s going to give us that sense of fulfillment. When we achieve our goals and objectives driven by our own hard work, we satisfy ourselves to our heart’s content.