When was the last time you doubted yourself? Or do you ever doubt yourself?
Were there times when you questioned every single decision you made?
“I could’ve done better.”
“I could’ve chosen a better option.”
Everyone has experienced self-doubt. This is one of the many emotions that makes us human. Whether it may be with your family, your career, your love interest — self-doubt can spiral into more depressing thoughts that may ultimately prevent you from moving forward in life.
So to help you avoid getting stuck in the misery of doubting yourself, here are things to remember when you don’t believe in yourself:
1. Opinions aren’t always the truth.
Are you someone who gets easily influenced by the opinions of other people? Do you let their opinions dictate on how you feel, how you act and how you move on with your life?
It’s quite common for people, even those who are confident, to doubt themselves over what other people say of them. Most especially if the opinion comes from someone close, it’s even more impactful since you’ll think they know you too well to have that accurate opinion of you.
But in the end, opinion is not a fact.
And while everyone is entitled to having an opinion, it’s important that you don’t let what they say get to you. Don’t let the negative thoughts of people affect your self-esteem and confidence.
2. Growth and improvement take time.
When progress takes longer than you expected, you may start doubting on what you do and what you are able to do.
Growth and improvement take time.
Whether it’s learning a new language, learning a new instrument, trying to communicate better — it can become frustrating and discouraging to not see any immediate results and big improvement.
Small steps toward your goal are still steps toward your goal. Little progress is still progress. And over time, this little progress you’re seeing from the start will grow into a big one. Learn to be patient and understanding of yourself. After a while, you’ll be surprised with the progress you’re making.
3. Do not define yourself by one moment in time.
Can you recall a situation or event that defined or changed you? It can be a failure in the past that you can’t help but think about constantly. Maybe you are not doing too well in the present so you find yourself revisiting old memories all the time.
When you stop believing in yourself, you easily get stuck in the past and let one moment or event define the shape of you. In these trying times, remember you are growing and continually making progress.
Who you are is decided by your whole story, which is still being written, and not by one specific moment in time.
4. Fear can’t stop you.
Never let fear get the best of you.
It’s quite normal to feel nervous about trying new things and having new experiences. It sounds thrilling, but it can be scary for some people.
However, when you let this fear hold you back from the things you want to do, it’s important to remember that it’s not the end of the world if you make a mistake or two, or if things don’t work out the way you want them to. After all, our mistakes and experiences can be our teachers. We end up learning and growing from making those mistakes rather than not trying to do anything at all.
5. Appreciate your uniqueness.
Do you compare yourself with other people and feel down whenever you feel like they’re ahead of you?
Whether it be about success, careers or skill sets, constantly comparing yourself with other people can have a large negative impact on your self-esteem and self-confidence. You might even start to question your own self-worth and ability.
But remember this.
There’s a reason why the sun and the moon don’t shine together. It’s because they shine on their own time. We are unique in our own ways, and we have our own paths to follow.
While there are things or qualities you feel like you don’t possess, remember there are also qualities of your own that nobody else have.
6. Break the big goals down.
Nothing is wrong with dreaming big. We should dream big. But sometimes having big goals can overwhelm us. The amount of time and effort it will require can make us feel anxious.
Maybe you want to be a chef or an artist, but you don’t know where to start. The anxiety can end up taking away your motivation, and worse, cast doubt in yourself.
This is why it’s better to break down our big goals into smaller ones for it to be more easily achievable. By doing this, you’ll find it less overwhelming and more manageable to do.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed lately, that’s okay. Take a deep breath, clear your thoughts. Find something fun to do, and disconnect for a while. You deserve a break.