Genuine friendships — I bet everyone wants to have a best friend who can make you feel secure and safe. Having a best friend whom you can rely on is one of the greatest pleasures in life, and is something that you want to last forever.
Saying good bye to a best friend can be pretty devastating and heartbreaking. But trying to save a friendship that’s not meant to last can cause more harm than comfort.
With that said, here are signs that can help you realize that it’s time to let go of your BFF.
You are second-guessing your friendship.
Although you don’t want to admit it, questioning your friendship when you’ve both changed so much is just like saying you both are different persons now who don’t have anything in common. Conversations that were once easy now become awkward, forced and empty. Activities you once enjoyed doing together seem boring or you both just lost interest.
The way things have changed is just too different for you to hold on.
You don’t communicate anymore.
People who don’t communicate tend to grow apart. When you don’t communicate anymore but still think of the other person as your best friend, please don’t pretend it’s normal. At some point, you will realize it’s all empty excuses — the distance, the no-effort to see each other and etc.
You want different things.
We all have plans and goals to achieve in our lives. When you and your best friend have very different wants and desires, staying in that friendship would mean to sacrifice one or the other’s hopes and dreams. And asking someone to give that up for you will only result to resentment in the long run.
You have found other friends.
You may not realize that you and your best friend are already drifting apart until you find or make new close friends. When being with other friends makes you feel more comfortable and the relationship just feels more compatible, then that’s already a clear sign that it’s time to let go. Or just accept the fact that the friendship isn’t what it was, and let the status of “best friend” drop.
Your trust was broken.
This is a particularly sad reason to break a friendship. Trust is the foundation of any relationship. When there has been too much hurt after saying things that can’t be taken back, repeated forgiveness and just moving on won’t give you the peace that you can find with starting over again.
You’re the one left holding on.
If you feel like the effort to keep the friendship alive is one-sided, with you being the load-bearer, then it might be the time to end things with this person. As much as it hurts to be rejected, most especially by the ones closest to your heart, trying to force them to change their mind, or trying to force yourself into their lives will be very harmful to you. Spare yourself the indignity, then leave. You may ask for answers to get closure, but anything more than that is not recommended.
Generally speaking, it’s not healthy for one’s mental health to stay with someone who doesn’t want you. No matter how you look at it, letting go is indeed one of the most difficult decisions you’re ever going to make in your life. You may experience grief, anger, denial and sadness before reaching to the point of acceptance. Through it all though, you’ll understand deep down inside that it is the right thing to do. Some things are just meant to come apart, and that’s okay.
People are meant to change and mature. Moving on from life is just learning and growing from your past, and not being held by it.