She did not just wake up in the middle of the night and decided to stop loving you. The feeling did not disappear over hours of sleep. It was a long process. A painful one. From being all over you to just having you around as a routine. From filling her mind with thoughts of you to you just becoming a habit.
Maybe it was the white lies that made her lose trust. Every day you filled her with doubts. Fear grew inside her until she didn’t feel afraid anymore.
She became numb.
Maybe it was the things you kept from her that made the gap. Each day she tried to reach out. But the gap just expanded wider and wider until she couldn’t reach you anymore.
She got tired.
Maybe it was the lack of communication. Less conversations turned out to be okay. Not missing each other at all. Not being bothered by the lack of dialogue.
She felt indifferent.
Trust me, it used to hurt her. But she did her best and held on to something that would be catastrophic and heartbreaking to let go. Slowly disappearing from each other’s lives, growing apart little by little — she knew she was losing and the feeling to fight wasn’t there anymore.
The day she decides to walk out will be the day she realizes the difference between love and familiarity.
And that familiarity isn’t enough of a reason to keep staying.
Found this on my drafts and realized it deserves a spot on my page. I wonder what was on my mind back then. But what really urged me to post this was a recent conversation I had with a friend who’s a victim of domestic violence.
As someone who’s not yet married and isn’t knowledgeable enough to comment on somebody else’s marital issue, I can only congratulate that friend for making such a tough decision, and for being tougher to be able to make that decision.
Here’s to rebuilding, here’s to a new start! Walking out on something doesn’t always mean losing. It could be that you finally realized who needed to be put first, and that’s yourself.