In a recent conversation I had with a friend who just turned 30, she asked me what were the things I would want to let go of when I reach that certain age. I wasn’t able to answer her and just brushed off the question like it didn’t matter.
But as I was spending some alone time in my room, I got to thinking. Do I want the same life that I have right now when I’m 30?
1. Thinking that being vulnerable and soft are weaknesses
I should stop apologizing for having a soft heart, and for being vulnerable at times. I should consider my vulnerability and soft heart as signs of beauty and strength. Whatever is holding me back, I hope someday I’ll be able to let go of that fear and display my emotions as they are. To be vulnerable means to let go. And to let go means strength. I should allow myself to be seen, whatever the outcome maybe, for this is the bravest thing I can do. To put myself out there — I hope I can inspire others to do so too.
2. Trying to control everything
I have to accept that there will be things I cannot control. The attempts of trying to handle every situation around me, and to change the people around me — I should stop. Appreciate life as it is, even when my expectations aren’t met. Life will never be always in my favor, it won’t always be convenient. I should enjoy life no matter where the directions are veered because life is like that. And the uncertainty what makes it exciting.
3. Toxic people in my life
I should let go of the people who bring toxicity in my life. My positive energy shouldn’t be used off by people who only bring negativity in my life. I should bulldoze these bridges that bring me down, and make space for those who actually deserve it.
4. The excuses I make for other people
I have to accept when enough is enough. When someone keeps making the same mistakes, these become behavioral problems that are impossible to break. I should stop making excuses for these people. Because the more that I do, the less likely they are to change.
5. Pleasing others
I should be selfish at times. I should live selfishly by taking care of myself first. I should do what makes me happy rather than walking on eggshells just to please other people. I have to stop robbing myself of the only life I have just for someone else’s benefit. I should stop denying myself of a life that I deserve.
I have to stop doubting myself. No matter how people try to convince me that I’m great, I’m good, I’m successful — these won’t work unless I convince myself that I am those things. I attract what I put into my life. I should start thinking highly of myself as I do with other people. I have to be proud of myself, but at the same time, well-grounded.
7. Self-loathing and insecurities
I should realize that I am already 30. I should promote self- love and live my life with a light heart. I have to be gentle and kind to myself. I should forgive myself for the mistakes I did in the past, and for the destructive behaviors that brought me pain. I should stop feeding myself false narratives that’ll only bring myself apart. I should realize that no amount of love from other people can get through if I can’t let my own love get through me.
8. Irrational decision making
I have to stop being impulsive. I have to slow down and think critically before diving into something. With the passion that I have, I must learn how to approach things slowly. Think before you act, think before you speak.
9. The apologies I wanted to hear but never received
I should let go of the past by leaving the past as it is. The people who hurt me don’t deserve the energy I’m splurging. My thoughts don’t have to be preoccupied with worries about how I was wronged and how I still deserve to hear the apologies. I must learn how to move on. I should move on. I shouldn’t let my past weigh me down. Those tragedies are baggages that will only slow me down and tire me down.
10. My comfort zone
I have to go out of my comfort zone and start living. And I hope I flourish by doing so. I have to realize that my comfort zone is not a shell that I am leaving. It’s a place that I can always come home to at the end of the day.